There’s nothing like attending a live wrestling event. The cheers of the crowd, the pyro, music, and wrestlers can really create a fun atmosphere. But the volume of all of that is definitely turned way down when it is watched on television. Sure, you can hear some fan chants and the music, but the television audience is treated to something special that the live crowd misses out on. The fantastic announcers.

Michael Cole really knows his wrestling. Every match he calls has some “historical” value to the WWE. He has no problem remembering dates and past matches, especially those that are older than one month. He discusses the past of each wrestler with such detail, you’d think he was an historian. Wrong.

The current voice of the WWE is Michael Cole, which pretty much means he is the main voice of all of wrestling. He is awful. He has no idea what he is talking about unless it is written down in front of him. This is evident when he is commentating with someone who actually knows what they are doing. Look back at when he and JBL were the announcing team for Smackdown! Even though he was a little annoying, JBL would legitimately call Cole on his mistakes and you could hear him shaking on the microphone. Whether this was scripted or not doesn’t hide the fact that Michael Cole gets tongue-tied more often than not and cannot handle the pressure of being a man in his position. He rarely calls actual wrestling moves, and when he does it is usually the finishing move of the wrestler, and even that is probably written down for him. (By the way Michael, Randy Orton’s “scoop slam” is actually a power slam in disguise. You need to know these things.) Being a former news journalist obviously doesn’t qualify you to be a wrestling commentator.
On a side note, this apparently isn’t his real name either.

Jerry Lawler is Cole’s “color” commentator. One could argue that “The King” does much better when paired with Jim Ross and during the Attitude Era when he can use more mature language and be a little more crazy. When was the last time he even said the word “puppies?” The phrase “color commentator” probably isn’t the correct term to describe his role on the team either. He basically throws in semi-comedic one-liners, and voices his opinion when he actually has one. Very rarely does he explain why a wrestling maneuver is effective, or why a certain strategy is employed, as any true color commentator should. You can tell he doesn’t watch any other show either. When a wrestler from Smackdown! Or NXT appears on his show, he basically has nothing to say. Why wouldn’t he at least be required to be somewhat knowledgeable about the other WWE programs? The RAW announce team has really lost its talent when it comes to this genre. He and Cole really do sound terrible on Monday nights.

So who do we have on Friday nights? Hopefully it’s a duo that can be a saving grace for the WWE. Hopefully it’s a team that combines true play-by-play with strategic and educating analysis for the listening audience. Well, it doesn’t. But sadly, the best announce team is actually not on the “flagship” program. And the team is held together by one man: Matt Stryker. Todd Grisham is the play-by-play commentator. He use to be J.R.’s color guy and was also on Tuesday’s ECW, but took J.R.’s place when he left the WWE altogether. Honestly, he did just fine when he was with J.R. But when the main announcing role fell upon his shoulders, he crumbled under the pressure. This is probably why he isn’t on pay-per-views anymore. Grisham likes to use odd segways and transitions in his commentating. Such as “The Big Show is huge! And speaking of huge, our main event is just that!” Etc, etc. This seems to be all he’s good for: hyping main events. He has very similar characteristics to Michael Cole, which isn’t good. Well, it isn’t good for the audience. Obviously this style is what WWE management is looking for.

Matt Stryker, however, has seemed to have found his calling. His wrestling character just wasn’t working out. He tried to be a manager after that, but he really can call a wrestling match. His character is antagonistic, and he comes off very cocky. This does agitate some fans, but whether they like it or not, he is here to stay. This is evident by his hosting of NXT. You can tell he does his homework and works hard. He knows how to call wrestling moves and does a very good job at analyzing every match. Stryker can reference old eras and relate them to today, and he can actually remember past feuds and rivalries and explain character development. He may be one of the most disliked announcers, but he is the best the WWE has to offer. It honestly would be best if he could announce every show alone. At least he knows what he’s talking about.

Josh Mathews of ECW and NXT fame shows us some potential. But it seems if anyone is paired with Michael Cole their talent just disappears. Mathews does know his stuff, but is limited by the WWE style of broadcasting. And it will be a long time before he is at “Mean Gene” Okerlund status of backstage interviewing. But he definitely show us potential for the future.

Leaving the talents of WWE we are left with the TNA announce team. It is a great thing Don West left the table. All he ever did was scream into the television set. But Mike Tenay and Taz might just be the best announce team on wrestling television. Taz has his oddities and certain phrases, but he has previous wrestling experience and can really explain and evaluate what’s going on in the ring. Mike Tenay has been announcing on television since WCW, and is very knowledgeable about the product. He will sometimes throw out the name of a move and even Taz will have no idea what in the world he’s talking about, which adds some comedy to their routine. These two have the right chemistry to announce a wrestling match.

So, only three out of six announcers are worth anything on television. Fifty percent is not a good number, considering how big wrestling is in the world. Sure, you can argue with the rumors of Vince McMahon screaming into the headsets of his broadcasters so they talk about only what he wants to hear. But even so, there needs to be talent involved, especially for Vince. He has every option at his disposal, and Michael Cole is not the answer. Sometimes, even Mike Tenay, Taz, and Matt Stryker are simply obnoxious. It really would be best if the voices of wrestling were muted. That way the fans can make up their own minds in peace. Just let the matches proceed in silence.

Don’t be hypnotized.