This past week’s Raw (11/23 edition) hosted by Jesse “The Body” Ventura was an all around quality show (of course I am a mark for Jesse). He has lost hardly a step in vocalizing his opinion. Listening to him and Vince do commentary was great (and coming out to the old Saturday Night’s Main Event theme, “Obsession” was a nice touch). The concept of a the "break-through” battle royal was refreshing and watching Sheamus win instead of the usual Orton scenario is different too. Great build-up, but then came the contract signing. Cena gave, in all honesty, a heartfelt promo in my opinion. Sheamus seemed timid to even pick up the mic and comes off diffident in a wannabe/forceful sort of way. Then Jesse mercifully takes over and cuts a promo on how it is a conspiracy that Cena is the champion (and a great commentary on art imitating life here) and how he never got a shot (which I believe he did or was at least on pace to before his retirement). Then with Cena distracted, Sheamus goes in for the kick. It was right then and there I had wished Ventura stuck around and became Sheamus’ manager. It would be perfect; the loud-mouth, over-opinionated Hall of Famer who “never got his shot” paired with the Celtic Warrior desperate to make a name for himself.
Let’s face it; people like The Rock, Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold, Ric Flair, Chris Jericho, Edge, even John Cena do not fall from the sky. The perfect combination of verbal ability and mat skill (or in some cases just enough mat skill) are few and far between. In today’s business, you either have to have so much charisma, you remain employed (think Santino) or you have to be such a technician you can’t be ignored for your shortcomings on the mic (think Dean Malenko or Chris Benoit). The WWE and its fans cannot wait for these uber-talented individuals to appear on the scene. But what if guys like Shemus, Dolph Ziggler, and most of the guys in the break through battle royal have the mat skills (or at least raw talent) and can’t talk? Do we just “future endeavor” them?
The answer is no. This leads me back to my Ventura point. A manager would help young Sheamus immensely (even JR mentions this). “I see so many promising young wrestlers today who would be so much better if they had a great, credible manager to represent the young talents' TV personas,” says Mr. Boomer Sooner himself. Well now Good Ol’ JF says it too, bring back the manager! Babyface managers never really work out in my opinion (some exceptions), but heel managers can really get it done for the vocally challenged. Do you honestly believe a guy like The Warlord would have lasted as long as he did had it not been for a manager (for the record he had at least 4 in the WWF, name them if you can and I’ll give you a shout out next column, I dare ya).
Even if you could talk (or ramble on for a reeeally, reeally long time, oh yeeeah) like the Macho Man, having that managerial counterbalance like the lovely Miss Elizabeth definitely helped add depth to Randy Savage’s career. He played the role of the psycho/jealous guy to the tilt. Jesse Ventura and Bobby Heenan were right; Elizabeth was more harm than good in many cases. She caused Savage and the Mega Powers to find trouble (and later implode) on several occasions, but that is what made things so interesting (plus she carried herself with so much class and looked genuinely worried for her man). Even the Macho Man choosing a manager was an event in itself…
…and that McMahon always drooled over her (as Jesse would say).
Recently on WWE Classics on Demand, the Legends roundtable focused on the lost art of managing. Needless to say, it was a slight disappointment. Joey Styles did the best he could holding court on ringside generals with JR, Michael Hayes, Jimmy Garvin and J.J. Dillon. You guessed it; it mostly focused on managers from down south (Mid-Altantic/WCCW/NWA) territories. A LOT of talk about Gary Hart, not enough on Bobby Heenan. Things were really skewed in favor the southern boys, but that’s what those guys grew up on and I grew up on WWF managers. Guys like Jimmy Hart, Mr. Fuji, Slick, Freddie Blassie, Luscious Johnny V (coincidence?), Lou Albano (whom the show was dedicated to) barely get a mention, if at all. To cap things each of the legends presented their Mt. Rushmore of managers, each of their four favorites. To the group’s credit, everyone hands down agrees the Bobby Heenan is the best. With that said, I’d like to give my favorites in my own Mt. Rushmore…
1) Bobby “The Brain” Heenan – The reason I still have WWE Classics on Demand is so I can watch Gorilla Moonson and The Brain riff and get under each other’s skin on Primetime Wrestling. He put his body on the line, sometimes (unintentionally) was more over than his wrestlers and was simply hilarious. He managed like a wrestler and wrestled like a manager. As far as managers go, he is the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be.
2) Jimmy Hart – I never really liked that “little pipsqueak”, but he’s got a heck of a resume. He managed Intercontinental, Tag Team and even World Titles to his credit. He was always right there, the second best manager behind Heenan (although his men won more gold). The mega phone and his shrieking voice always annoyed the fans and The Colonel did his job.
3) Paul Heyman – I always thought he was an abrasive and an annoying person as a manager. People seemed to look down on Paul E., even Jerry Lawler despised him in storyline and real life (breaking his jaw on purpose back in the old Memphis days). While I’ll always remember him as the owner and revolutionary of ECW, he was still a great manager. I feel he even put Brock Lesnar over the top when he started in back in 2002. I heard on JR’s blog, that Brock still contacts Heyman today regarding consulting on his business ventures. Is that a real manager or what?
4)Miss Elizabeth – This one is way too difficult for me to choose, but I wanted to include a babyface (during most of her run). I include Liz because she was so different from your traditional manager. She simply looked worried and looked beautiful on the surface, but was so much more. I really think she got storylines moving and was involved in some dramatic moments. I think of her standing in harm's way of the Honky Tonk Man’s guitar, reuniting with Savage at Wrestlemania 7 and trying to save Randy from Jake Roberts’ cobra. She was different from the rest, so I include her.
Honorable mentions include Slick (got to love the pimp gimmick), Sensational Sherri (the opposite of Liz, but was as physical as the guys) and Sunny (the first to usher in the Diva-era, plus I was 13 when she came on the scene).
Having said that, I still believe that there is a place for managers in the modern era. Armando Estrada seemed like he had a chance with Umaga a few years ago, but even that was broken up early. It helps move storylines and gives non-talkers a chance. Even if you are a total package, having that mouth piece can really put things over the top. Even the Total Package needs someone to speak for him…
I know, too easy.
Anyway, I had intended on posting this earlier and I did in fact, see tonight’s (11/30) Raw. I have little to add (no pun on Verne Troyer), but I will say Santino still entertains me and big props to Carlito for cutting a great promo on John Cena (only to have him be fodder to Cena for the Sheamus feud). I hope management took notice on Carlito, when used correctly he can still show flashes of potential. I say team him with Primo as heels (think Los Guerreros) or even have them headline ECW, not that I watch the new ECW, anyway…
Who is your favorite manager or “Mt. Rushmore” of managers? Let me know and give me your thoughts (it creates a purpose for writing these columns in the first place) at drago552@aol.com
